what is important?

While in isolation on my little new found isle out in the sea, the question arose in my thoughts, “What is the most important thing to you right now and why aren`t you paying any attention to it?” it was as though something struck me and I suddenly came to a realization or self-consciousness. I realize that all along I have been doing everything in life except the most important thing to me. As I watched the sun slowly deposit itself into the pocket of cloud never to be seen again, I sadly recall all my dreams and passions and how I always wanted to live my life as a writer and embalmer. My love for the dead and my passion for writing has lost their sweet savour only because I have not taken the time to cultivate the flower in order for it to bring forth the fruit; like it is often said "you can`t reap what you never sew."

Jamaica is no place for flowering talents and that is why many people ran away as soon as they got the chance to. There is no help and no motivation for someone searching for success in life in this environment. It is a tough challenge for you to keep your head above the waters and try to save yourself from drowning. All you do is break your back to make an overtime dollar which can only stretch from hand to mouth. The economy of Jamaica is systematically designed to keep you poor so you don`t get the chance to invest in yourself and your future for a better life tomorrow. I admit it, yes I did blew my chances at acquiring some educational achievements at school but I thought that some day not too late I would be able to create that opportunity to make up for it; yet to date it`s like trying bring a sinking ship to shore with a rope.

I often heard that if you start doing something you love then you will not have to work another day in your life. God knows how much I am dying for that day to come when I can live my life as a writer and never worry about waking up to a miserable job. I am tired of blaming circumstances for me not being able to live the kind of life I wanted, I need to find solutions that work for me. I don`t think I am doing enough or else the results would show. If the testimony of others I read is true then I must believe that I can do it just the same.

I will continue to dream only if I don`t wake up to live the reality. I thank God that he has brought me here today to write whatever it is that is wrong with my life. To realize that there is after all a life out there waiting for me to live, instead of coercing myself to live this life where it seems i`m dying daily.